Friday, January 20, 2006

Monday Elections! Yay! Kill me!

“The facts don’t matter.”
- Rondo Thomas, Conservative candidate (Ajax-Pickering)

So, on monday Elections will be held in Canada. As I've do doubt said before, I have what amounts to zero interest (unless we can go into negatives) in this bizarre sideshow of an election. To choose from we have four camps.

1. the Corrupt: Liberals.
2. the Self-serving: Bloc.
3. the Righteous: Conservatives
4. the Loopy: NDP.

Ah, the misery of choice.

However, i want to be sure that our American friends do not have a warped sense of our values. I say this due to the fact that our presumably forward thinking proposals have made us a bit of a Eden in the minds of decent, forward thinking American friends. However, the Emperor may have no clothes, and our society is just a footfall away (or a Conservative win) from regression.

We have yet to ratify any of the bills put forward to fully legalize pot, gay marriage... we haven't even coughed up the cash for the African incentives (much to Bono's chagrin) or the full amount for the Tsunami. We, honestly, make quite a few promises we don't keep simply because we love the adoration. Our collective hearts may be in the right place, but it's the walk that counts, not the talk.

check out the trailer for Escape to Canada, and, if you think that all the Bible-banging weirdos reside in the bible belt, Meet Rondo, the Conservative candidate for Ajax-Pickering, Ontario. Believe it or not, Canada will vote these nuts in come Monday because they feel we 'need a change'. Because the Liberals are viewed as corrupt (they wasted money on an initiative to keep Canada whole, and that initiative's cost were miniscule compared to the type of cash that gets thrown around every day... a literal 'drop in the bucket', pocket-change).

This is why no matter who wins, nothing will really ever get done to anyone's satifaction.
Yeah, i know people in Aafghanifiikidarfurstan would love to vote, and I should do my patriotic duty and I'm lucky I can vote and I don't get raped by marauding chimps and whatnot... But need it be so?


Blogger TheHamburger said...

Although I'm sure most Canadians hate the show 'South Park', just refer to their election episode in which the kids are trying to vote for a new school mascot, a turd sandwich and a giant douche. Moral of the story is that no matter when you vote and at what level, you're voting for either a turd sandwich or a giant douche. Oh glory...

12:45 p.m.  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...


10:48 a.m.  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

I still say vote. Inform yourself, find the option you can be least cynical about and go do it. We earn the right to bitch and get sympathy for it (because anyone is free to bitch all they want) if one does everything in their power to work to make things better and still finds their efforts blocked at every turn, leading nowhere....only then does one earn the right to be truly pissed. The people out there asking for our votes may range from evil to good-heartedly incompetent but still, it's only our own fault if we don't help find/be/support a better, honest, intelligent, balanced candidate. As for me? I'm pissed because I know I'm also ultimately a lazy ass that doesn't deserve the freedom I have and more pissed because other lazy asses are going to help hurt all of our flabby bum bums collectively. That is, at least until either a Conservative minority loses a vote of confidence and then, hoorah, election fun all over again, or they actually surivive a full term, don't quite manage to contain their maniacal nature and we see them for what they truly are....the worst scenario is that they keep their noses so clean you could sit down and eat in their nostrils, booger free. Which could mean they are just so good at hoodwinking us that we don't even know we're being sodomized. In which case, maybe they deserve to be in power and we should just bend over and take it.

3:17 p.m.  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

booger? bum-bum? tee hee!

once again i just whisked over your post and just excised the elements that tickle my fancy.

I'm for the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery.

anybody know where that quote comes from?

4:50 p.m.  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...


2:21 p.m.  
Blogger Contra-Chimpdicated said...

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman

4:08 p.m.  
Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

Ivor Biggun from Black Adder III, Episode 1? (Just looked on Google.)

7:50 p.m.  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

bingo! damned google, it makes geniuses of fools and fools of genuises!

...not tghat you fall in those categories, mind you!

11:55 a.m.  

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