Saturday, February 24, 2007

Keiko, The Pale and Warty Truth


Ah, the cold, dreary, oh-so-long and miserable days of February.

I want a vacation, I need a vacation, but none on the horizon. So, instead of leaving a 'gone fishin' sign here as i hasten to the sunny horizon, a rant.

Well a mini-rant. See above. Why nature rolled the dice and wound me up in the frozen north rather than some sun-blessed beach on warmer shores, nestled between the sweet, ample bosom of a honey-kissed lovely is beyond me. I must have been some serial rapist in a past life to deserve this Siberian Gulag of an existance. If buddha is to be trusted, as much as a balding fat guy with a penchant for yoga and loose-fitting robes could be, what I reap in this life is directly related to my performance last time 'round. Next life, I'm sure my fitting will be for a banana slug pullover.

Did you see this? Sad. Keiko's website, wherein white dudes can traipse down to Tokyo, violate her, and get free room and board... all for english lessons! But, it's a hoax... pics stolen from here, Jenny Cheung's site. she even blogs about it... phew!

However, this prank is rooted in a horrible reality. Japanese women have this thing for whitey that goes beyond ridiculous. If you are white, you could look like gilbert gottfried, have four teeth and lice the size of kittens... and you'd still be able to land a hottie. Proof... sad proof. Whiteys all look like Brad Pitt to them. Might be the fact that they ABSOLUTELY EAT UP all of the western advertising and propoganda, creating an inferiority complex in the face of the white west. To be with a white, no matter how gangly or uncouth, is to be white. Here's an insight.

I want to start a campaign in Japan to create awareness that their pasty white english-teaching pud-suckers are all in town BECAUSE NOBODY WILL TOUCH THEIR WARTY ASSES WHERE THEY COME FROM!

3 Comments:

Blogger DA said...

yeah, vacation sounds great..

1:42 PM  
Blogger bleeeeeeeeeeeeeee said...

A change can occur only if in some way a feeling of gratification is experienced--which in the case of the child must be through calcium outside help--in order to remove the inner excitement.. What should I want coarse-hand for? said the disciple, with great contempt; coarse-hand won't never do me no potassium good.. How provoking that they should have sent us the claritin first invitation.. But you can't! lamictal screamed Buller.. It would be like a gaily decorated cardizem mausoleum--bright to see, but silent and dark within...

9:19 PM  
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