Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Having Trouble Holding My 'Water'... A Critique Most Unkinde

...Saw M. Night Sharmalartinianarnian's new opus. Dog pat as per usual. It seems he progressively expands his role in each of his films exponentially each time. I expect he'll do a film one day soon with only a close up of his face and an internal monologue overplaying the entire debacle as he shows his dramatic reach, alternating between looking bored and looking bored.

However, a plus. It seems those million monkeys banging away on a million typewriters for a million years just had their first screenplay put to good use. I hope maybe soon they'll manage to string two sentences together that don't sound like they've issued forth from the strangulated bowel of a bloated water buffalo.

I get the whole fairy tale angle. What I don't get is the fact that everyone patters around like they're on Quaaludes and extra-strength Nyquil. I don't know who seemed more bored... me or the poor saps trying to 'act' through the methane haze that is mr. M's overly convoluted and ridiculous tale.

Thanks to the Procrastin8or for the invite!


Blogger Sinkchicken said...

But he tries so hard's almost sad.

The only film of his I liked at all was Unbreakable (though I know it still has loads-o-flaws). As soon as Bruce got shot at the start of Sixth Sense I said to myself "oh so he's dead for the rest of the film" and was bored silly for 2 hours waiting for the "clever reveal" (plus it wasn't scary at all). His last "effort" made me wince with every line as I waited for someone to discover the fence. He's a punchline director and his punchlines probably sound cool on paper, maybe, but end up being so lame and go nowhere and you have to ask yourself why should I care.

When I saw the trailer for this latest one I actually got excited cause I thought it might somehow be a sequel to Sideways....then saw the "from dirctor m night shamamamamlalmadingdong"!

2:19 p.m.  
Blogger Bina007 said...

You're too kind. The only sad part is that the shamster has taken Giamatti down with the ship..

3:08 p.m.  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

giamatti will rebouond... he has to!

9:13 a.m.  
Blogger DaProkah said...

Yeah, Happy Birthday. Always a pleasure to see you shoot something down. Especially the gift of mediocre cinema!

11:10 a.m.  
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