Sunday, December 04, 2005

Director, Producer will 'Know it When They See it'

Yesterday, at the workstation of senior animator Mike Mitchell, production came to a standstill when it was left unclear as to the direction of a particular shot of 'Fuzzy Bunny', a low-profile, straight to DVD animated feature.

"I'm not sure what I'm looking for in this shot.” The director, a talentless hack, was heard saying. This was echoed by the producer, a film school dropout, who added,
"Why don't we do it a few different ways and choose the best one?"

At this point, the studio-appointed creative director stepped in and offered a solution, but sensing that their credibility would be compromised, his vain attempts at restoring a modicum of sense and order were rebuffed.

"I'll know it when I see it", the director stated, confidently, as if that was any decision at all. The producer, sensing an easy way out of actually having to make a solid decision, nodded absentmindedly, his thoughts already on that hot blonde he picked up the night before.

"I'm not sure what the hell the issue is," the creative director, who refused to give his name, was heard mumbling as he walked off, "what a waste of time. Between the two of them they can't decide whether to shit or piss. ...It's not like anyone will even watch the damn thing. It's horrible."

The animators, who haven't had a break since production began, echoed the sentiment, but Mike Mitchell added further, "Maybe if they had've planned the damned show out first, with storyboards and whatnot, we wouldn't be doing this now, trying to figure out what the hell these annoying creatures are doing at this point. I haven't seen my kids in ages. I want to die."

"I want to die too" repeated Stephanie Melnachuk, the project coordinator, "I want to die too. These guys have no idea what they are doing. I was better off as an escort. At least with those assholes you knew when you were gonna be screwed."

The director, a nephew of the studio head, finally decreed to do the variants and he would return in the morning, somewhere "between ten and 2:30, ...I'll be snorting coke of some hookers' tits and I may be too fucked up to come in at any given time. ha ha! ...Kidding!"

"Fuzzy Bunny" is slated to be released to DVD sometime in the New Year. The producers promise it to be "A really great DVD to keep the kids occupied while you sneak in a quick shag with the wife or girlfriend, but not much else."

Mike Mitchell's wife has initiated divorce proceedings.


Post a Comment

<< Home