Holiday Scar Tissue

Well, my finger wound is healing nicely. However, it’s in the joint, so every time I put gloves on/high five/ grab my member I agitate it and it begins to seep. Now, I’m no fool, but I imagine yellow is not a healthy tone for seepage. My nipples are getting hard just thinking about another stinging iodine bath. Joy of holiday joys.

Last night I decided to go to an Indian Party. I had chutney and watched a Bollywood flick called “Mission Kashmir” or some such. Little did I know that the damned thing was nearly 5 hours long or something. To top it off, I had no idea what the hell the genre was, because every time I turned my head I’d come back to find a completely different film! One minute, love story… rosy and sweet, then, a gunfight, then, a dance number… then, comedy… in the same frigging film! But that was not the best of it. The leading actor had THREE THUMBS!

Can you believe it…? I couldn’t. We kept pausing looking for the errant digit. An already convoluted film was made all but unwatchable due to the constant rewind looking for that beast of a digit. It was like he had a claw for a thumb! Poor Hrithik Roshan (his name). How the hell do you pronounce his first name? I feel the vowels are misplaced.

Here I was blubbering about my finger issues.

Apparently, I’m invited to a family dinner for New Years. The hits just keep on coming. Plumes of cigarette smoke and boxes of wine that would be left untouched at a meeting of town drunks. Turkey. Again.

…and here I am, fifth floor, and the windows don’t open wide enough to allow me to hurl myself into the street below. Perfect.