Wednesday, May 17, 2006

When Foresight is 20/73...

My friends' father is seeing a younger woman. Commendable? Depends on your leanings, i suppose. I've seen May/December things work before. However, I find this case more than a tad bizarre, it leans towards the ridiculous. She is 20, he is... wait for it... 73. This is beyond May/Dec. That's Devonian/Holoscene.

Am I missing out on something here, or perhaps I'm behind the times? Perhaps it is cool to date your Grandfather these days, I suppose being lulled to sleep in the arms of some tired Geriatric windbag is all the rage, enthralled by his tales of the great depression, Hitler's taste in cars and the day he discovered fire by rubbing two stones together... I'm sorry, is there something inherently sexy about men with excessive ear hair, or perhaps it is the plaid trousers wrenched defiantly up to one's armpits that gets the Gap set steaming?

That, my friends, is a colossal 5o-year difference. Now, I'm not one to meddle in the affairs of others, but I am tempted to fill up the Charger with dry goods and a change of clothes and go directly to the stage of this union and show them basic math! Perhaps, she, tired of all of the clawing, cloying habits of the 'younger man' has been lulled by his dastardly laid-back outlook and retiring demeanor? Not long before she discovers that by 'laid-back', I mean 'too pant-wettingly senile to care' and by 'retiring' I mean 'corpse-like state of eternal stupor'. On his hand, he must at times feel like he is conducting a pre-school class composed of the better parts of the 'glint in the milk-man's eye' and Ova#326. The post-coital conversation must be a doozy. To be a fly on that wall.

A blind, horrified fly.

2 Comments:

Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

Eeewwwwwww... eeewwwwwww...... nasty.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

Eeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaabzzzzzzzz! [tap tap tap]

1:45 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home