My Conquest So Far

Following the well worn lead of dear old 'A Consequence of Monkeys', I have decided to ape his second most recent post in a feeble attempt to introduce copious amounts of filler to titillate and maintain readership.

Below, hence, is a map of all the areas on our glowing blue orb that I have been to. This brings up more realizations than I suppose it should, such as: almost all of the countries I have visited are known as, or were known as, bloodthirsty and warmongering, with allusions toward world domination either financial or by force. There are huge swaths of the planet that have not yet known the delicate imprint of my foot, shown in a depressing and bleak 'grey' tone. The grey tone is apt, however, as they have yet to experience my shining, life-giving example. However, I have pledged to soon grace these poor, soul-less denizens with my gentle visage and stunning guidance as soon as I am able, vacation time willing.

I look forward to paying pennies for your earnest toil and efforts, shunning your toilets and bathing habits, and making off with your religious icons as trinkets. It's the least I can do.



Pathetic, hm?

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