Monday, January 02, 2006

Happy New.... Ah, Screw It.

Here, in random order, are my resolutions:

1: Stop randomizing things and put things in order. Like dishes, socks, priorities.

2: Take up binge drinking and a dangerous drug habit. You only live once, and fast!

3: Buy nice clothes that make other people look fat and unattractive. Rub their faces in it when given the chance.

4: Be nicer to those who love me, or at least pretend to. This won't happen, but we all need pipe dreams.

5: Feed my pet. He's looking weak these days.

6: Make mo' money, even if it is stolen. Actually, ESPECIALLY if it is stolen.

7: Stop sanding without a respirator. Jesus, what was i thi- (cough) -nking?

8: Move faaaar away. I may be forced to if I...

9: Finally admit to her that I love her and stop this ridiculous charade, even if she never speaks to me again.

If I can nail only a few of these, happier I will be. Become, a cheerful soul, will I be.


10: Never talk like yoda.


Blogger jj said...

I would go with 2 it should be easy and a roundhouse kick to the rest, although the confession of love to someone that is clearly not interested is always a great boast to the self esteem and should encourage more of number 2

Happy New Year

and if you need to be saved from potentaily(sp) bad sex call Super Broad.

jj or Super Broad

8:31 p.m.  
Blogger Angela said...

Hey Monkey,

Happy New year.

I like #1, and #4, and I really want to know who #9 is!


1:00 a.m.  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

i'll never tell

9:41 a.m.  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

You forgot number 11: Stop putting off the pubic region-to-scalp transplant so you can finally grow a bushy, stink-fro. In fact, that should be number 1. I'll contribute to any fund that gets started to make it happen. Carpe diem!

11:00 a.m.  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

Oh yeah. And you don't have to be so shy. I know I'm your number 9. Let 'er rip. I'll let you down easy so you won't have to leave town with your sack between your thighs. Mwahhh!

11:07 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home