Monday, May 29, 2006

X3: X-men, The Final Stand: A One-word Review.

X-crement.

12 Comments:

Blogger Angela said...

Awww man... I have been waiting for this movie for months! Thanks for the warning.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Contra-Chimpdicated said...

Wait a minute. Is it better than sandpapering my eyes? (my alternative plans)

9:56 AM  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

The comic book it was based on by Buffy creator Joss Whedon is excellent. As far as I know he gets no credit for the idea. Haven't seen the film, but the clips I've seen, the dialogue ones, seem weak. I'm told once the action picks up you forget about this flaw. Possible?

10:02 AM  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

no, you do not forget about that flaw. x-3 was forgettable and spotty at best. Due to Ratner's less-than-deft hand, the film was stripped of any emotional resonance whatsoever, especially in the Xavier death scene. He has a tendency to drag out sequences to the point of ennui. The climax was anything but, played out on such a small scale, with the obvious attempt at mimicking the first film using historical landmarks.

Not once did the dark phoenix do anything as remotely stunning as the comics, wherein she bursts into flames in the shape of a bird. The acting was forced. The costumes on the new characters did not work, and the dialogue forced and atrocious.

It doesn't go anywhere, fast. It even felt like the actors didn't even want to do it.

I'm sure there is some sort of nepotistic current that allowed Ratner to get the job. he's not competent enough a director. IMDB says he's 'the only child of a famous Jewish socialite' (their term, not mine) and got his start directing shitty music videos for a friend, so perhaps the blame lays there.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

oh, jeez... i was reading Ratner's profile, and the arse actually said this:

"There's no difference between a tacky Jew from Miami and a rap star. They both want the Cadillac and the Rolex with the diamonds."

what?! retard.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Contra-Chimpdicated said...

no, really. it's confusing. My grandmother would sling gefilte fish with one hand and a gat in the other. My cousin said the verenikas were a bit dry once and she dropped a cap on his ass. that's why i'm retarded.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

Xavier dies!?!?!?!?!?!?!

You sir have a big mouth!

Haven't you ever heard of the warning ***spoiler alert***?!?!?!

Sure it might suck but why can't I at least be treated to some suprises along the road to hating it?!?!?!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Blog Monkey said...

Oh. 'Spoiler alert'.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Sinkchicken said...

Thank you. Phew!

10:55 AM  
Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

Yahaha.

12:26 PM  
Blogger DaProkah said...

What a shitty way to end a great franchise. We've been waiting two movies to see Iceman & Rogue get some action and what happens? Rogue gives up her powers for some dick and Iceman ices out to give Pyro a head butt. WTF? No character development for Colossus, and The actor who played Cyclops gets punished because he took off to do a more fulfilling role in Superman Returns-which is far far better but isn't without its flaws.

Phoenix was pathetic and Angel was absolutely useless. BTW there was no mention of what happened to Nightcrawler. Not even a passing mention. Tghe movie bordered on silly for alot of the action. And would it have hurt to base the army of mutants on actual characters from the comic?

I didn't even know it was Callisto Storm was fighting-and she looked nowhere near remotely like her-bad english but you get the point. You can't just abandoned the look of an established character just cuz she's not an X-Man.

Rattner can suck a dick.

1:20 PM  
Blogger DaProkah said...

What a shitty way to end a great franchise. We've been waiting two movies to see Iceman & Rogue get some action and what happens? Rogue gives up her powers for some dick and Iceman ices out to give Pyro a head butt. WTF? No character development for Colossus, and The actor who played Cyclops gets punished because he took off to do a more fulfilling role in Superman Returns-which is far far better but isn't without its flaws.

Phoenix was pathetic and Angel was absolutely useless. BTW there was no mention of what happened to Nightcrawler. Not even a passing mention. Tghe movie bordered on silly for alot of the action. And would it have hurt to base the army of mutants on actual characters from the comic?

I didn't even know it was Callisto Storm was fighting-and she looked nowhere near remotely like her-bad english but you get the point. You can't just abandoned the look of an established character just cuz she's not an X-Man.

Rattner can suck a dick.

1:20 PM  

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