Sunday, July 30, 2006


Ultimate Frigging Showdown!

Thanks to angela, in response to Meinert and Sinky going on about Shmooperman.

Chuck Norris does his worst, and RoboCop makes an appearance. No cooler, that! I expected Optimus Prime to do more asskickedness damage, but whaddya want, it's a cartoon.

Snakes on a muthafucking plane.

Friday, July 28, 2006


I just got back from the American Museum of Natural History in NYC. That place always freaks me out.
Since I’m art directing an IMAX film about dinos I went and got the VIP tour and was allowed to touch some pretty rare fossils. I spent some time with Mick Ellison, the fantastic paleo artist, who I got along with like gangbusters. Turned out we both did a reconstruction of Mei Long at the same time for different publications, AND we both are proud owners of giant squid parts! Great guy. Then I went to maxilla and mandible and got to touch even more bones and weird shit. They have a wooly rhino skull, how cool is that? Huh? Not so much? What about a blue whale penis bone? Getting hot?
Then I went out and had a few drinks. Hey, it's frigging New York, what am I supposed to do, go to a church? Funny thing about NYC is ya never feel insignificant there. When you go to places like Toronto or L.A., you always feel like some dude's telling a joke and you are the punch line. Not so much in New York... I guess that's why the folks, they like it. Gonna grab some Joe and get to work. Dinosaurs don't design they-selves, ya know.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Having Trouble Holding My 'Water'... A Critique Most Unkinde

...Saw M. Night Sharmalartinianarnian's new opus. Dog pat as per usual. It seems he progressively expands his role in each of his films exponentially each time. I expect he'll do a film one day soon with only a close up of his face and an internal monologue overplaying the entire debacle as he shows his dramatic reach, alternating between looking bored and looking bored.

However, a plus. It seems those million monkeys banging away on a million typewriters for a million years just had their first screenplay put to good use. I hope maybe soon they'll manage to string two sentences together that don't sound like they've issued forth from the strangulated bowel of a bloated water buffalo.

I get the whole fairy tale angle. What I don't get is the fact that everyone patters around like they're on Quaaludes and extra-strength Nyquil. I don't know who seemed more bored... me or the poor saps trying to 'act' through the methane haze that is mr. M's overly convoluted and ridiculous tale.

Thanks to the Procrastin8or for the invite!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Do They Stop Rampaging on the Shabbat?

From the 'Why didn't I think of that' department:

George W. Bush, showing the tact and lucid acuity that his tenure has been most noted for, has issued forth, after much strained thought and superhuman effort, an epiphany of the highest order concerning the current plight rampaging within the confines of the Middle East. After all, a great man must have great ideas, am I correct?

On the current situation wherein Israel (America Junior) has attacked Lebanon to 'rescue' two soldiers and has wound up killing hundreds of innocents (at least 226 people have been killed):

"The irony is what they needed to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop this s---, and it's over."

...There you have it. Amongst his grandest and most excreable achievements, George W. Bush will go down in the cascading halls of history as not only the ursurper of Democracy and a corporate shill, but 'The Man who Killed the Human Brain', to boot.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Beat the Drum Slowly

Hi, just a quicky here, but is Israel bombing the shit out of Lebanon for 3 soldiers (one in Gaza), or am I missing something? Well, just as WW1 began with the inane situation of the murdered Archduke (Nobody that bloated is that well-liked!), I guess this deserves an equally ridiculous excuse.

Listen, I'm not retarded. You can't possibly believe I'd swallow this acrid pigswill without a defiant and cocked brow, knowing full well that, in the mad rush to put each and every soldier in harm's way that, suddenly, their lives are worth a damn to you chest-beating bureaucrats.

You wanna use your toys so bad, any excuse will do, admit that at least. Ten extremists run in, kill 8, whisk away 2 and you bomb the rest of the country to the stone age... killing hundreds? Also, I have not 'conveniently' forgotten that after one soldier... ONE, was taken in the Gaza strip, the Israeli air force instantly sent fighter planes into Lebanese and Syrian territory and buzzed targets, at the same time, just as Bush did after 9-11, INSTANTLY blamed the same two countries with complicity. With little corrobaorated evidence. Innocent until proven guilty is how it works, folks. Take the case to the UN or an international court. Prove it. They are executing without prosecuting... and innocents are dying.

So, soldiers that, under normal military auspices are viewed as little more than cannon fodder, suddenly have become so valuable that the military would waste millions, kill thousands, just to gently cradle the poor G.I., like a suckling lamb, back to the radiant land of Galilee? Bullshit. And fuck you for thinking we'd all swallow any of this. Between this administration and the Bush Kingdom, it would seem that whenever any of them spout rhetoric, they manage not to enlighten but subtract from the fountain of human knowledge.

Hey, neither side I champion as shades of grey make it difficult to determine friend from foe, but I know this: If Britain bombed the living shit out of Ireland over a few nuts in the IRA, we wouldn't sit idly by. Because we're white. Because we're Judeo-Christian.

The government of Israel is criminal. And they've been perpetrating horrors that would make Nazi Germany proud. They are becoming their worst nightmare... and mine. They have an administration so absolutely abhorrent and spiteful you'd have to wait in line to hate them.

Monday, July 03, 2006


Well, I will admit, I have been paying a bit of attention to the World Cup. I think that Germany is doing a bang-up job. Those dirty Huns sure know how to throw a party!

However, I notice I have been started to harbor a creeping resentment these last few weeks as we get closer and closer to the Final Outcome, and I will expound. Whereas the World Cup is a wonderful way to bring all of the nations together in harmony, it seems that it has the opposite effect in North 'Merica. There have been more racist slurs uttered in the last week in my presence than the last three and a half years combined, more resentment, more division, and what I have most feared about our society seems to be accentuated by the recent goings-on. We are not getting along as one huge family as we'd like to think, we are only self-segregating and allowing the rift to expand. The reasons I imagine have to do with sheer numbers, as certain populations have vast enough numbers so that they may fill out entire neighborhoods and never truly have to make any lasting contact with the 'others'.

What happens then is we have an Italian community, Portuguese community, Chinese, etc., that do not identify as Canadian, even if they are second or third generation. They identify more as Tunisian, Iranian, Egyptian rather than American... Now, I am a blend of Irish, Scotch and French, and of that I am guilty of pride and reverence, but I do not regard myself as a son of any of those nations. When Ireland wins an international contest i do not strap an Irish flag to my car, get blotto, block traffic and harass people for not belonging to my bloodline. The Portuguese community have blocked traffic and harassed our town twice in the last week... waving flags, etc. I admit to some hardcore racist thoughts at those moments, borne of frustration and bewilderment... How shitty is it in Canada that there are those that identify more with a country that they did not even originate in, that the flag of a nation with a near third-world economy that their parents fled is considered more of a home than the nation in which they were offered refuge? Are we being too Liberal in our views towards immigration, are we allowing subcultures to exist at the expense of our society... does this mean anything towards a broader picture, say, like that of National Unity?

There is a debate in the U.S. right now about making English the ONLY national language. Because of Mexican influence many neighborhoods are developing where you have third generations that have no requirement of English within America. They live, eat, work, sleep in Spanish only. Should this be tolerated? If this continues, honestly, you will have the same issues that Quebec has in Canada, a growing rift, a lack of understanding and bigotry aimed in either directions... with little or no hope of reconciliation. Take the unfortunate case of some Islamic communities, or the Hasidim, to integrate fully is to allow their identity to be compromised, so cultural contact is verboten, and we all go to our corners, ignorant, dutifully donning our Dunce Caps with weary compliance. Right and wrong in this case depends on which side of the line you are on. Both sides are complicit, we need to take steps to understand each other, and find a common ground we can agree on.

The fact of the matter is this: North America, as it was imagined, will never work. The races refuse to agglomerate, associate, nor cooperate as cultural concessions are difficult to make and, as the populations grow the divide may get even wider. Now, I do not offer a solution, I am merely posing the question here.