Sunday, February 26, 2006

A Toast to Our Hardworking Olympians, to The Exclusion of Some, Alas

Well, a toast is in order for all those who scrimped, saved, sacrificed and dug deep for the Olympics this year. My heart goes out to speed skaters Cindy 'Klassy' Klassen for her determination and spirit, garnering five medals whilst maintaining her ‘aw, shucks’ demeanor throughout, and Clara Hughes, for cruising in the 5000 for gold. The men were no slouch either, netting silver in the relay. Kudos to the golden men’s curling team, who rallied after an unsettling loss and made the folks back home proud.

24 medals in total, hard earned and worth every nick and scrape. A toast held heartily high to all those who know what determination and hard work are all about. This is not to disparage those who did not medal, for they gave their all as well, their defeat is no less noble.

All save for a group of men, whose wretchedness and disinterest nearly spoiled the party for the rest of the hard toiling athletes. These pampered of which I speak deserve no credit, no praise because their defeat was not hard fought and earned. I speak, of course, of the men’s hockey team. While their female counterparts were dazzling the field with their drive and sparkling play, these millionaire loafers did their utmost to embarrass their homeland, the ‘birthplace of hockey’. If Canada is the birthplace, then stillborn are these sons. They played with a dispassion best held for clerk positions in a field that towers above all, above even their ridiculous paychecks for their mercenary play back home in the NHL. The fact that they showed no drive for all those back home should result in them stripped of the maple leaf, for it is not for the leaf they play, but the billfold it seems.

But the blame does not solely lie with the players. The management that saw fit to include bums, yes, bums… known for antisocial violence (Todd Bertuzzi) as well as a man who is responsible for the death of a team-mate (Danny Heatley), among others. Also, they excluded a hot young talent, the hungry and passionate Sydney Crosbie, for reasons known only to them. Top that off with the inclusion of a coach from a bottom-feeding team (Pat Quinn) whose obvious inclusion is to please CBC brass who have been pushing the Toronto Maple Laughs as ‘Canada’s team’, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Hang your heads low, boys. Shouldn’t be hard, you’ve never looked past your doorstep since you were drafted. If you did, you’d see the thousands you’ve disappointed. Perhaps your 'Olympic Spirit' is merely a ghost of what it could be.

Talk about letting the country down.

Everyone else, take a bow, we’re proud of you. Ladies, in particular, I salute your noble efforts. Ater all, they account for a good two-thirds of our medal haul.

Friday, February 24, 2006

What's in a Number?

Hey ladies and gents.
This pic is amazing, I like it very much. Outside of what it infers, with its 'David vs. Goliath' overtones, I think the composition is striking and eerie. Now, on to the next topic.

...I'm too lazy to truly post, so I'll just post up an inane but interesting tidbit that keeps circulating. Now, I cannot verify the accuracy or truth of any of this, as i cannot actually add, but it's a diversion all the same.
Oh, before anyone starts cursing me, arranging a fatwa, or questioning my alliegances, let me first stipulate:

I don't particularly give a damn about any of this, honestly.

New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.
Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind: 1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident. Now this is where things get totally eerie: The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book: "For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran. Still unconvinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feel >afterwards, it made my hair stand on end: SERIOUSLY DO THIS-- Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS

What do you think now?!!"


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Guten Tag (Good tag?)

A Consequence of Monkeys, a name and fellow close to my sweaty dew-flaps, has posted his tag.

I personally think it, and he, are (is?) humorous, and he deserved a read. I also deserve kickbacks for pushing his sorry ass on the blog community. Nothing if not helpful!

And, speaking of sweeties in the blog community, thanks to 'Special K' at Rhodian Attic for the monkey pic you see featured here. I want one for Kwanzaa!

...And, no thanks to Sink Chicken for nothin'. Hasn't posted in a bit. Sad, really. He even started a 'Star Wars' blog, which he doesn't update.

Here's something fun. A 'Dear John' I recently recieved, from a girlfriend who I was waiting to return from Vienna.:

"Dear So-and-so,
How are ya?
I have a news for you.
Now i'm in frankfurt Germany.
I have a boy friend.I will live in frankfurt with My boy friend.
I am sorry about that.I never come back to (town name deleted).
I don't want that you call me.anyway (her professor) doesn't know my nummer too. (can't spell)
I told him that i can't go to (town name deleted).

Sorry again.
I thought in vienna about you, (deleted)
We can"t match eachother.
I don't know What i left behind you. (my guess: I don't know what I left at your home)
Through (throw) away every thing.

I have all the fun. Good riddance. I love when people vanish, you worry, and they only resurface to tell you they are in the midst of a new relationship.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Driving is Fun Again!

You gotta see this.

This is the Carver three wheeled car. It's like nothing I have ever seen, but everything I have dreamed of. It's unique construction allows the maximum in control while still giving you the ride of a lifetime. I imagine such a little package is easy on gas as well. However, I'd hate to be nailed by an SUV whilst tooling about in this l'il beauty.

In related news, I got a ticket today for having an exhaust that is too large. The cop tried to tell me that it was because they were trying to crack down on 'polluters'. Bullshit. The exhaust I have helps pull the exhaust out of the engine, allowing for more efficient fuel ignition. I have a catalytic converter anyhow, so it does not stink, and I get constant tune ups. My car is four cylinders and i can fill the tank up on 25 bucks and go more than a full week on it.

The cop that stopped me was driving a six-cylinder chevrolet, a pollution machine, and three SUVs slid by while they were nailing me. Ironic.

Obit: Cowsills' lead singer William Cowsill

This is in honor of my good buddy, Travis Cowsill. His father died recently, not long after finding his uncle's body, a victim of Katrina's wrath. They were original members of the famed 60's group 'The Cowsills', inspiration for the "The Partridge Family," and who recorded a series of top hits between 1967 and 1970, including "The Rain, The Park and Other Things" and "Hair."


I'm thinking about you, big guy. I hope things turn around.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Oh Dear.

A cautious word of advice to this (fortunately)unknown gent.

Next time you attempt to sell a well-appointed dining table online, perhaps a keen eye for environment and a pair of well-fitted trousers might come in handy? see pic below. Click on it for a larger version (i'm sure he'd love a similar offer, but nature does not work in that fashion, alas.).

Also, something I never wanted to know from my pal Meinert's new blog. His dog eats cat turd. This is something perhaps he could have told me on the many occasions his dog licked the hell out of me. Often, I eat snacks at his house, like Tortilla chips... with my bare hands. Thanks, Meinie!

Did anyone else know that dogs chow down on feline scat?

Monday, February 13, 2006

I'm all 'It'. (And a Bag of Chips)


Time to get to my tag. Both sink chicken and Rhodian Attic tagged me, so I guess I'd better 'hop to'! Those I have tagged, it is simple, answer the following as I have and pass it on ad nauseum.

My added feature is a brief explanation.

McDonald's employee (fired... 'does not work well with others')
Used car salesperson (I bet your are not surprised)
Storyboard Artist (Got carpal tunnel from this job... 'love' life suffered)
Creative director (current)

RoboCop (Witty and horribly violent. I like my women that way, too)
Blade Runner (Who doesn't like it? You? Then you are an idiot.)
The Transporter (What?! Stop laughing, Dammit. My sole guilty pleasure that isn't porn.)
Yojimbo (Kurosawa, the father of modern cinema.)

With roomies, broke (Less than squalor, learned to enjoy the warm glow of starvation.)
With wife (Sigh.)
Alone (Current. I clip toes in bed without reprimand.)

Nightly News (Comedy, drama and fiction all in one!)
Northern Exposure (I lament good television when I see this gem.)
Futurama (Ditto.)
Test Pattern (More cerebrally stimulating than 'survivor'.)

Japan (From Osaka, to Kyoto, to Nara and places in-between)
Italy (Rome, and the northern parts, and the Alps)
Germany (Berlin, mostly. where men are men, and women are men.)
California (Where men are metrosexual, and women are men, and some men are women, and everyone is certified bonkers, wearing pajamas to parties.)

Tofu Hot Pot
Canard confit
Saag Lamb
Coriander Chicken

Robocop archive (heeeee!)
Mine (...And why the hell not?!)
Musclecarclub (Yeah, they are noisy, dirty and brash. But I love em.)
Hollywoodgifts (Toys! autographs! blaaaaergghhahah...ooooh-haaaaa-!)

Someplace Sane.
Shanghai (Gotta go to China one day, ya know!)
Darjeeling (Tea!)
Under the sea or by it.

What the Hell
The Procrastin8r

Blade Runner Coat

Love the flick, love the book, love the concept. Now my nerdism goes into high gear... shall I spend the cash required to acquire this?

However, the collar is incorrect as it should have a dense cordeuroy, and this does not seem to sport that feature. I may wait for a later model as they might nail it somewhere along the line.


Friday, February 10, 2006

A Good Day for Politics, or, “I Love the Smell of Napalm in the Senate”

This week has been a windfall for politicos, as we politically adept and minded voyeurs are being treated to an early (or late) Christmas of political intrigue, bounding and out-and-out irony on both sides of the border.

Two tidbits that ticked my incredulousness bone this morning:

Former FEMA head Michael Brown has taken to blaming the Department of Homeland Security for the failures apparent during the Katrina hurricane mess. Mr. Brown, who quit under duress as chief of the Federal Emergency Management Agency mere days after nature decided to bitchslap the Gulf Coast area, maintains that FEMA's mission was marginalized when it was inhaled by the newly minted (and obviously mismanaged) Homeland Security agency. Homeland Security had “terrorism prevention”, not disaster response, its top priority, Brown noted. It makes one think, after all the posturing of being ready for any disaster, that the Feds sat around on their hands for days while disaster relief teams from Vancouver were in there helping folks out. Within days, it was ‘Lord of the Flies’ on the ground, with rapes, death, carnage, shootings, police corruption, you name it, taking over and they had no idea how to respond. There was little to no preparedness… AND THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING. Now, imagine the chaos that would result if they didn’t, like in a terrorist attack.

"There was a cultural clash that didn't recognize the absolute inherent science of preparing for a disaster," he told the Senate Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee. "Any time you break that cycle … you're doomed to failure."
He added: "The policies and decisions implemented by the DHS put FEMA on a path to failure." In other words, you’re screwed.

Our newly minted cabinet seems to be off on the (far) right foot. Not only did they appoint a minister from the opposition who, in an act befitting of Benedict himself, spat in the eye of his electorate and jumped ship to the Tories, but they seem to be nearsighted as well when it comes to the cultural makeup of this country.
They have appointed Ted Menzies, a unilingual Anglophone (English only, please), an Albertan farmer, as parliamentary secretary to Quebec City’s Josee Verner. H e would be answering questions when she was not available. Sound harmless? Not quite. His department is in charge of, yep, official languages and francophonie. In other words, he’s in charge of representing the FRENCH-SPEAKING voters of this country, all without speaking a lick himself. The closest he’s been to French in the far west has probably been French fries.
"I can understand a lot of conversational French but I just haven't quite got up the nerve to speak it yet," said Menzies, an Alberta farmer before he was first elected in Macleod riding in 2004.
Until I'm fluent in French I will listen to the translation and I will answer in whatever language I'm capable of answering in at that time.”
I wish I could be given a choice job irregardless of my qualifications. You can't work at a fucking McDonald's in Canada without Speaking French, and this arsehole gets a cabinet position that requires it? I thought this governement was all about 'ethics'? They're about as much about ethics as Paris Hilton or Bai Ling is about 'taste'.

On the Emerson front:
New Democrat MP Peter Julian sent a letter to House of Commons Ethics Commissioner Bernard Shapiro requesting an investigation into a possible breach of the Ethics Code involving Prime Minister Harper and Trade Minister David Emerson. Let’s hope he gets nailed.

Yep, last I heard they were still burning flags over cartoons. Sigh. What a world. Calgon take me away.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Turncoat David Emerson, A Political Journeyman and Bounder of the Week.

David Emerson, former chair of the Vancouver International Airport Authority, stunned the country on Monday as the former Liberal cabinet minister is staying in cabinet-as a Conservative.

The people of Vancouver, who not only voted for the man, but also financed his campaign, were staunchly opposed to nearly all of the Conservative agenda. You see, the agenda (with a capital 'A') that was being presented by the conservatives flies directly in the face of many of the values that that particular area holds dear and incorruptable. Like a good many East-Coasters, they are socially democratic, lax on pot, easy-going towards gay marriage and racially mixed and religiously flexible. They are wary of hawkinsh politics and are concerned about the environment. The Liberals may not be all those things, but they have the willingness to explore the issues and take tenative steps towards a good many social reforms. The Cons are not. They will put gay marriage to a vote in commons, bring Christian religious ideals back to the political table, will scrap the child care act and have expressed a desire to back out of the Kyoto accord. This, is not what they voted for in Vancouver.

Mere days after the vote, the elected Liberal minister, David Emerson, defected his party. He left his constituency looking for answers, wounded to the core. They had effectively been taken for a ride, their contributions spent... Paid for one thing, got another. On CBC radio this morning, Emerson offered no apology, reiterating he can do more from within than without... which is bunk politics at best. No one person can sway an entire party's politics, unless they are leader.

...And he is definitely not leader, but a follower of the worst kind, the kind that shrugs their shoulders at decency and ethic and pisses in the pond with all the other bullies. A by-election should be held and the vote repealed. If they wanted a Conservative MP, they would have damn well voted for one.

Remove the bastard.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Since We All Seem to be Revealing Vices...

Since Sinkford P. Chicken has come out of the closet with his impossibly nerdy admission of a Star Wars toy fetish, I thought I would come clean with my three obsessions. I collect almost anything pertaining to Blade Runner, Nightmare on Elm Street and, most ridiculously, RoboCop.

I have purchased a full Robo suit and am currently refinishing it. It has cost thousands, this retarded collection of mine. The photo above is my mouth photoshopped into a robo picture. That is how bad it is, it's gotten to the photoshop stage.

My Blade Runner collection includes books signed by Syd Mead, Ford autos, the glass he used in his apartment, his gun, kits of the car, lobby cards, etc. Nightmare was really bad in my youth... i had countless gloves, cards, sweaters, hats, autographs, toys... sticker albums, etc.

But Robo is becoming the maddest of them all. I will have the full costume. Anyone else got this madness in them?

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Haunted? Stunning yet Humorous New Video

Hey all, a bit of diversion. We all know I LOVE the realm of the paranormal, and I spend more time than reasonable thinking about spirits and hauntings and all that yummy, goopy, ectoplasmic stuff... Or at least, you should know.

This entry is a bit of a treat for all you 'Ghostbusters' out there, or 'Ghost-breakers' for all of the geriatrics and Abbott & Costello fans. There is some grainy but interesting footage of an apparent sighting of a phantom child (a girl, by the looks of it) cowering quietly in a corner as a videographer attempts to steel his nerves and gather imagery. I think it is worthy of further investigation. However, what truly makes this video entertaining is the behavior of the gent manning the camera. His bowel-rattling screams are what girly-men are made of.

Check it out here and judge for yourself....

the following is a comment from the sender, Don Waller... Kong animator, good buddy and all 'round cool guy!

"I think this guy truly did capture something on video, if you examine it, you
WILL see the image of a figure in this poor quality tape, but the guy's goofy
screams sort of overpower the whole thing and it's more hilarious than scary!
What an idiot! What's puzzling to me is that he's terrified the first time and
runs... But if it's THAT scary to him, why would he even go back for more?!
Something doesn't add up."

Hmmmm... Who ya gonna call? (I know I'll be calling Pizza Hut in a bit, myself. Wee bit peckish, ya know...)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I Like Bondage as Much as the Next Guy, But...

I came across this image by way of Google, by accident, looking for locking mechanisms and hasps. It is from a sort of on-line 'bondage' bazaar, and it raised a signifigant question... What the hell was this site thinking when they chose their models? Do they expect any sales from this type of model selection?

I mean, all I could think was... 'Would my mom like a studded collar and dildo combo for her birthday, or should i go with the spice rack instead?'

Maybe it's me. Perhaps maybe there is a huge fetish base for old hags wearing coke-bottle specs and skin like a worn wallet. ...In prison.

...But I doubt it. I especially like the inspired 'police line-up' mood lighting. Nothing makes me want to 'get it on' more with a pock-marked crone like the harsh, pasty glare of a striplight on her mottled, blistered, ample girth.

Yeesh. I'm gonna go try to gouge out my optical nerve and visual memory with a plastic fork now.